drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
