I wannas sexs uuuuu
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
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