No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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