Sry I called you an 8
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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