So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
