so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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