Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I cockslap morals
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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