trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
