DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
He passed out mid-signature
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
how do you play pong handcuffed?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
