Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
