i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
