A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
