You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
