Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
