just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
