And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
