Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
