Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
How does one acquire holy water?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Randomize
