Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
