I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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