How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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