i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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