how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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