can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Randomize
