so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
is wine microwaveable?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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