it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
