then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize