There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
