But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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