dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
