Can Purell be used as lube?
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
