i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
