sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
