Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize