what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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