I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
