is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Floor bacon is actually really good
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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