HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Randomize
