fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
