I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
