I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
