i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
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