if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
