Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
