I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
