I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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