What did we do last night that was yellow?
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Randomize
