what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
