One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
