the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
