dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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