got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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