My friends, they love my intelligence
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
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