Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize