break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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