he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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