There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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