i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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