its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
