i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
