so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
