Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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