Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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